It's the Hobo's Life for Me

So I've been INCREDIBLY stressed these past few weeks with everything that's on my plate. Four classes, working 30+ hours a week, planning on moving to DC but not knowing when or how or where I'm going to live or what job I'll have, etc... So I've decided that I'm going to be a Hobo instead. I won't need a job. I won't need a place to live. I won't need money. And I won't even need to make plans. It's the perfect solution to all my stress and anxiety. So I was looking online for some How To tips for being a Hobo and I found the best advise in 6 easy steps.

INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Quit your job. Hobos do not have stable employment, since it cuts into their hobo time. The steady flow of reliable income won't be necessary as you embark on your new life.

2. Abandon your home. Hobo life is not tethered to one location. Embrace the transient nature of the lifestyle. Leave with only the clothes on your back and a few possessions, which you should bundle in a square, checkered tablecloth tied to a stick.

3. Cease all contact with family and friends. Develop a new, more tenuous social network with other hobos. Cutting off people you know allows you to dive into the solitary hobo life. Sudden lack of contact keeps loved ones from questions about your decision and the inevitable intervention where people try to change your mind.

4. Heed the call of the train whistle. Hop a freight train and see where it takes you. The ideal train car for traveling is already open and not filled with cargo. Find one with a hay-strewn floor and settle in for the ride. Play your harmonica for entertainment.

5. Learn to ramble. Nonsensical conversation is a cornerstone to the career of any successful hobo. Decide if you want to rant at passersby or mutter to yourself. Educate yourself in hobo terminology.

6. Meet your fellow hobos. Hop off the train and look for the flaming garbage cans. Offer to share some of your meager belongings or a can of beans upon meeting people. They probably won't trust you immediately and you'll need to do something to get their attention. Swap stories about riding the rails. Fellow hobos will be the people to notice if anything happens to you.

Like I said, it's the Hobo's life for me.